Wednesday, September 14, 2011

We never thought we had to ask.

When we arrived home from hospital with Popps, our lovely neighbours were the first to welcome us home. Jim and Maria may not even remember, but I do. They cooed over the baby and said all the things we as new parents wanted to hear.

8 months later and Popps was crawling around, we lived in a townhouse with stairs that no stair guard would fit. Jim custom built a stair guard for their stairs and then came and fitted it to ours to keep Popps from danger.
He was an amazing craftsman and I often drooled over the artwork that was the dining table he had made his own family.

When it came time for us to buy a place, Jim was the person who helped us out, he looked over places, and gave us advice in a kind parenting type of way.

When we may have over used the rat sac and ended up with a stench in the roof from dead rats,  Jim climbed up, removed the tin sheeting and fixed it for us.

He then installed our DIY kitchen and was more patient with Mr H and his lacking apprentice skills than any one else would probably be. EVER.

Today is the National R U OK DAY . Because a conversation could save a life.

Ask someone if they are ok. Listen to the answer. 

We never thought we needed to ask Jim. 


  1. It is such a bolt from the blue with some people, you'd never pick it and like you say, never think you had to ask.
    A silent killer.

  2. It is so true, you don't know what you don't know.

  3. Don't be hard on yourself. You never thought to ask, but Jim never gave you reason to think you had to ask. He was going through his own personal thing privately and was good at hiding his anguish no doubt. I know for a FACT that suicide is a very personal thing and is often not preventable. Stay strong, Jim is in a better place.

  4. I'm so sorry. But is right.

    MOst of the time, we don't let you see. xxxx

    What a lovely man.

  5. Its so scary when it happens like that. No warning, and seemingly no reason. You'd never know to ask so dont be hard on yourself.

    The lesson remains that we need to ask, no matter who, no matter why xx

  6. What a sad story. It's a shame that people who are so good, don't feel so good inside. A great post for today, Claire...

  7. so nicely written.

    and of course I agree with all the rest, you weren't to know.

  8. Beautifully written, Claire. It really is a well-hidden secret in so many cases. x

  9. Sad sad story. I hope that a day like today makes it easier for people ask for help, as well as encouraging others to ask if they're okay. Being depressed is an insiduous sprial because your mind tricks you into thinking that no-one cares.

  10. So sad. And so sad that men particularly (but by no means exclusively) think that saying that they are not OK means they have failed. Hopefully this day and others like it will make that admission easier.

    A beautiful post. Thanks.

  11. A beautiful post Claire.

    It sounds like he was a wonderful man.

    I agree with It is something that we hide so well...

  12. What a special post, it is the first time I have visited your blog and I cried reading this.
    Your so right ... sometimes it the people that you never think you need to ask.
    Thank you!

  13. That is so sad, but unfortunately all too true. xx

  14. Jim sounds like a wonderful man. And this is a lovely post honouring that.

  15. Oh Claire...
    no words except thank you, even after everything I read, said and thought today this really hit home.

  16. So sorry. You are right , most of the time we don't see it coming.

  17. Nothing like a reality check, eh? That is why this RU OK Day is such an awesome idea.

    I'm so sad for your friend Jim and his family. We don't really know, do we?

    That's why we now know to ask. xx

  18. Oh Claire, what a powerfully-written post, and a solemn reminder that days like R U OK should come around more often x


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