Monday, September 19, 2011

The Coffee Bogans

It seems with Melbourne's love of a good coffee that the home coffee offering has hit new heights.

A friend recently asked if we had a coffee machine, and were they the last ones in Melbourne to get one?

We have two.

Both sit in the cupboard and I don't know how to use them.

In Melbourne, if you want a great coffee you go out and get one, you get it on the way to work, or school drop off, as you race out of creche or on the way to a friends place you grab one for you both.

But more and more people are parting with wads (and big wads) of cash to have the latest machine perching on their bench.

It means if you ask someone if they want a coffee at your place and you pull out the jar of instant coffee you feel a little less. A little less refined, a little less hanging with the cool gang.

You have to begin by apologising, "would you like a cuppa, sorry we only have instant, is that ok?"

You have to announce your inner bogan coffee drinking habits.

Is this a Melbourne coffee drinking thing? And is there anyone else who can admit to being a Coffee Bogan?



  1. I'm a coffee bogan sometimes; when I'm being lazy. We have a coffee machine (a cheaper one) because here in the country to get a good coffee, you've got to make your own. I can't count the number of times I've been disappointed with the way our local cafes make a coffee, I just want to jump over the counter and teach them how to use that machine! That said, I'd prefer an instant coffee to a badly made dishwater machine one!

  2. We are coffee bogans too.

    I would love a coffee machine, but I think it would take me ages to figure out how to use it and we really don't have the bench space anyway.

  3. I confess, I'm not an instant drinker at all, though the rest of both sides of our families are.

    But. I don't have an expensive machine. Just a normal percolator and a stovetop esspresso (cheap, $20).

    However, at another person's house I would *never* make them feel bad. Usually I can spot the coffee they use. I can handle most but HATE Nescafe. If I see that, I usually just say "Actually I've probably had too much coffee today, do you have tea?".

    I try not to ever be rude or snobbish about it. I dont' care who drinks what. (Joel however...). But I like tea, so it's nothing for me to switch to that instead. In fact, am lately drinking more tea than coffee anyway.

  4. When it comes to coffee I am a bit of a puffer vest wearer. I love a decent coffee and will usually have a cup of tea if it looks like I'll be served up a dishwater like cup of instant! We have a Nespresso machine at home that was a wedding present 6 years ago and still going strong.

  5. We don't have any instant in this house. We are a plunger household. It's still easy but tastes so much better.

    I can't wait until we get our friend's old coffee machine. I'm a coffee snob.

  6. I am very fussy about my coffee. I have instant coffee in the house for visitors.

    I started my coffee journey with a stove-top percolator, then upgraded to a plunger, then to a filter percolator and now I have an espresso machine.

    Whenever I visit people, I have to ask if they have "real" coffee. If they don't, I have tea.

    I don't get many visitors, most are instant coffee drinkers, it's only my family that insist on "real" coffee.

    Now that you've reminded me, I'm off to make a latte...

  7. hehehe, this is funny as I am currently weaning myself off my $12 a day coffee habit.....and that doesn't include the instant coffees I drink! I've switched to green tea which is not only good for you and inexpensive but kind of has that hip groove town thing going on too hahahaha

  8. I have a rusty dusty machine somewhere but it never tasted good when I did use it. I would rather have a cup of tea then an instant coffee.

  9. Ahhhhhh a topic after my own heart! In my house, on most days, the priority, husband, coffee...on other days the priority is most definitely coffee & everything else can wait! It is one of the first things I think of when I wake I a coffee snob, you bloody bet!

    I wholeheartedly agree with Dorothy, Muddled Up Mumma & Melissa, a 'good' coffee is vitally important. BUT I don't make it anyone else's problem, I will always make a coffee at home in the morning and if going to someone's place will easily have tea.

    We have a good machine at home, we worked out the cost of both hubby & I buying one a day and it was a no brainer. Coffee for me is like a shoe fetish for other women, but cheaper!

    Thanks for this fun topic xx

  10. I use my coffee machine at home, several times a day. I am probably a coffee bogan snob LOL I am sure my cheap machine (we had a more costly one that broke twice in warranty so downsized) and aldi organic ground coffee would horrify the true coffee connoisseurs. But I think it makes a cup better than at least 50% or more of what I buy when I am out and about! When I am sans machine (see above) I spend waaay too much time, energy and money getting my real coffee.

    I still drink instant, and I don't mind it, but I'd always choose espresso first :)

  11. Since we spent almost $800 on our machine, I make sure I use it at least twice a day!

    But, I'm happy to drink instant and will if I am too lazy to make the espresso, or when I'm visiting others.

    Of course I love the taste of "real" coffee, but my only qualm is it takes so many steps to make a coffee. When you have 3 small children and are interrupted at least once between every step, that espresso coffee is a long time coming.

  12. I love a takeaway coffee... but happy to drink instant at home. Particularly when you just need. coffee. now..!

  13. @Julie - I microwave my milk now, see more boganess in espresso form, and I find I can make a proper coffee quicker than an instant. The espresso still makes a nice crema on the warm milk and there's no milk wand to clean. While the milks in the microwave I get the coffee ready, about a 2 minute process from fridge to stir LOL

  14. Oh my, coffee snob here... we have a coffee machine on our bench (the bloke uses it, I'm too impatient); plus a stove top coffee pot and various plungers. I think there's half a jar of instant somewhere in the cupboard, but I'm not sure! I don't really like instant coffee (I blame son #1 for that - I went off coffee when I was pregnant with him, and can't quite manage instant any more). And why would you have instant when plunger is really only one extra step???

  15. I'm an anti-social hot-drink-drinker. I don't like coffee or tea, I just have water, and people are so disappointed I won't have a cuppa with them.

    My mum jokes it's her one big failure as a mother - that none of us will have a cup of tea with her.

    Steve, though - I think I've told you about his coffee snobbery. Sigh.

  16. I don't drink coffee, a part of me dies when guests ask (sometimes i forget to offer) for a coffee & it's instant baby, bad luck, i just don't care. We only have a kettle you have to use on the stove (at least it's Alessi). All i can say is thank goodness i don't spend all that money on coffee & the thought of juggling coffee with 4 children under 4.5 years back in the day, well of course i'd need a Nanny to hold my coffee for me. I just don't understand you coffee lovers at all. My husband doesn't drink coffee either.
    I do have a friend who was posted to Germany & they sold their CAR to buy a fancy coffee machine to bring back to Australia. It looks amazing, but enormous. Love Posie

  17. I've defiantly and definitely chosen NOT to have a coffee machine.
    I love the ritual of going out for coffee - home coffee is never the same.
    I'm a coffee snob (or bogan) though - won't have instant and supply coffee bags for guests.
    (or peppermint tea)

  18. Hi Clairey, I am a coffee lover who loves to have coffee out! That is my excuse for going out most days I'm now retired. But I have very special way of enjoying it.. Cup size, double shot, skim flat white 3/4 filled.
    If it's not a proper coffee place they ask " are you sure..." um, yes. I have one coffee a day ( if I do go out) & that's it.
    Family members have coffee machines & I am sorry to say, here where they are unlikely to read, nowhere near the quality of coffee shops.
    At home tho' it's tea or if needing a caffeine hit, the expensive Nescafe Short Black is good.
    At school in staff rooms we drank some rubbishy stuff. But I didn't mind international roast with 2 heaped spoons of coffee!

  19. I drink plunger coffee at home = smooth and divine. Who on earth wants to clean a machine or who has time for that! I go out for coffee. Good coffee.

  20. *whispers* I am a coffee snob. We have a nespresson machine. I plan on taking it away with us next week. Seriously.

    I know how sad this is.

  21. NOT limited to Melbourne - people are just like this in Adelaide too. I'm a bit of a coffee snob I must admit but never ever would say anything at someone else's house.....and in all honesty some people buy the crappiest beans in the world and have no idea how to actually use their machines so instant would be a better choice sometimes!

  22. I can't drink instant coffee anymore. At the same time I have resisted getting a coffee machine because I don't want to get to the point where I can ONLY drink from a coffee machine and start offending other people. If I am offered coffee I normally suss out if it's instant or not (and I don't know many ppl who only serve instant anymore) and if it is I just politely ask for tea instead. Have your tastes but don't forget how to be polite and hospitable - that's my motto!

    Haven't read any other comments so going to press submit and hope I'm not offending anyone!

  23. We have a coffee machine, and I don't even drink the stuff. (I obviously felt the pressure...)

    But we have instant, because my husband (the bogan) ONLY wants instant. Oh, and the tradies that visit too.


  24. Me! I'm a coffee bogan, probably the biggest. Love love love instant coffee. Moccona Espresso Style is the best. Not happy with the rest but will drink if nothing else.

    I worked for an artisan roaster in the US and yes, espresso is good but not interested in doing it at home.

    We were laughing last night at the $3,000 machine in our junk mail. Do people really pay that much for a home machine?!

  25. I finally got a new aerocinno on the weekend so I am not a bogan anymore! Love my nespresso.


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