Popps started the year a keen dancer, but her overly stressful outlook is making it hard for her to attend. She has now set strict guidelines around her attendance.
1) some weeks she will dance and some she will not
2) no one, not parents, other children or grandparents are to watch her, if anyone enters the dance room she sits down or leaves the room
3) she will not be performing in the concert at the end of the year but would still like me to purchase the fancy costume and book tickets to the event, just in case she changes her mind.
4) she agrees it is really fun and she has a good time. That the other girls are all really funny and nice and 'her friends' and she likes being invited to their birthday parties.
5) if she does complete a full class, she needs a reward.
Mr H and I decided she needs to finish the year out, after begging for jazz shoes, tap shoes etc and the fact that she really does enjoy it when she is there. We would also like her to see that her fears, whatever they may be, are not so big after all, and maybe, just maybe, if she does manage to take part in the concert, the achievement will be wonderful for her.
Then we have Immy.
She is attending a class at the same time, it is for the 3 and 4 year olds, but as we are already there I asked if she could just join in and flap about. They agreed and we pulled together a costume from the dress up box and some hand me downs.
Six months in and at 2 1/2 she is addicted. She dances her little feet off, sings and skips about. She seems to believe she is Angelina Ballerina. She dances all week to the point we have downloaded the songs from class for her so she can practice her moves.
What started as just filling in time for Immy while waiting for Popps has turned around.
I don't know how Immy will go on concert night, how many two-year olds really do cope on stage? But I can't see how I am going to keep her away.
What do you do when your kids change their minds about activities?
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Oh we have a similar issue with our middle girl and baby girl.
ReplyDeleteMiddle girl is very shy and self conscious and baby girl is an extrovert, show pony.
She is not dancing this year (her choice) but we made her see the year out as she started to get all antsy about it just into concert season when all the costumes had been purchased etc (ka-ching).
She wanted to do Little Athletics this winter so we signed up, got the shirt, shorts, shoes (ka- ching, ka-ching, ka-ching) went twice then the tears and clinging started.
We just didn't have the energy to force her so we let her drop it. We are not encouraging her to do any after school activities for a while now until we can see that she has more self confidence.
Good Luck
oh gosh that was an epic comment. Sorry about that.
ReplyDeleteI've always had the rule of sticking out the year or the season.
ReplyDeleteAnd as a former ballet mum, I think your youngest will either dance up a storm on conert night or stand centre stage and freeze. Have seen it all! The littles always bring the crowd down though. I remember at my daughter's first concert - she was about to turn 4 - and the teacher sat down and told the group that when they go on stage they will probably hear laughter. And that it wasn't because they would look funny but because they would look so adorable.
If your youngest stops, I suspect she'll want to rejoin when she has to "fill in time" while her sister is in class!
A does dancing at childcare, and they tell me she tries to do all the kids' solos - she loves it like Immy does!
ReplyDeleteMiss 9 did dancing for 2 years, loved it but then in her final year, they kept on putting her with the girls who were doing their exams - she got bored plus the place fluffed us around when they kept on changing their times, so we didn't continue the next term. My girls have done a few different extra curricular activities - Art being one of their favourites, but stopped this term - again after 2 years (both girls). While it's good to stick it out until the end of term, I think if a child gets sick of it, I can't force them to continue. BUT, having said that, the only activity they have to stick through to are their piano lessons. They nearly gave up, but having changed teachers, now LOVES it!
ReplyDeleteIn your case though, I think Popps loves dancing just maybe a little bit shy? And as for Immy (gosh she's adorable!), she will either dance the night away at the concert or freeze, either way, I can see she absolutely LOVES dancing!! :)
I think you and Mr H are right to persevere with Popps finishing the year and to give her the option of doing it next year. My daughter's first term of ballet was similar in that she was very clingy and would get stage fright the minute we walked into the studio. She has really blossomed three months later! Good luck and please keep us posted :)
ReplyDeleteI agree it's a good idea to finish the term/year... and then to have some breathing space and let them decide. My wee daughter did ballet last year and enjoyed the classes. But the end of year show was just too scary and really put her off so she doesn't want to do it anymore. A pity... in retrospect I wish I'd waited until she was older before starting her on the dancing. Anyway, she does lots of other active things... and it means we only have two kids to get to places on a Sat this year, whew.
ReplyDeleteEllie, you make me laugh, Ka-ching is right.
ReplyDeleteI agree this can be so frustrating, especially when you fork out the money for uniforms etc. My boys have tried many sports which we would never mind as long as they give them a good go and finish out the term or season. In the past we too have given some things a break for a term or two and then they have been happier to go back. I think you are doing the right thing though, try to get Popps to finish and even do the concert but be prepared for her to pull out which will be even more frustrating for you. If she does do it though it will be a great achievement. And maybe if she has to watch Immy next year for a while she will decide to do it again.
ReplyDeleteMiss now 5 was just 4 when she started dancing and she was much the same, but by the end of the year she was loving it...until the concert. At the dress rehearsals she cried and refused to go on stage. It certainly didn't look good. Come concert night as we sat in the audience in anticipation my heart was a little sad thinking of her behind the curtain all upset but then as the tiny tots ran on stage there she was (broken arm cast and all). I cried. It was such a special moment.
ReplyDeletePopps may come around, I would at least give her the chance. Have her finish the year and see how she goes, then see how she feels when the new year comes. That is all you can do.
As for Immy I think you have a little star on your hands :)
I don't really have any advice for you.
ReplyDeleteBut OMG Immy is so cute in that photo, I think my ovaries exploded!
Oh Immy, bless your little cotton socks. Let her dance?
ReplyDeleteNot sure what you do with Popps. Sounds like she wants to dance. I guess give her the opportunity and just hope she works it out.