Friday, October 8, 2010

Blog with a real difference, tissues required

I have changed the title of this weeks post from Favourite Find. The blog I am mentioning this week is one I would prefer never existed, one that didn't have a need to be written.

But life isn't like that and bad things happen to really good, everyday people.

One minute you are going about your daily life and the next everything is changed forever.

In her blog Dear Darl, the author is a very recent widow. Her husband died in a car accident earlier this year. The author is writing letters to her husband to assist with her grief. They are personal and powerful, and show the full level of emotions that  grieving people have to cope with. It can feel like an intrusion on a personal conversation between a wife and husband when reading these letters. I feel like the fly on the wall in the bedroom, when the kids are asleep and the writer is crying silently to herself and speaking her requests to her husband.

There are posts about getting on with the mundane aspects of life, but on your own. Of having to work out what you can and can't cope with - such as a holidays with other families, but there are brief snippets that remind you life will go on for this family. One day, they will have less pain than they do right now. They will be ok.

From a post a few months ago:

So far I’ve only broken down in a screaming heap once. I’m getting very good at the snot-less cry now too which is far more convenient than the tissue-wasting variety of Big Ugly Cry.  I can just elegantly mop up the tears that roll down my cheeks.  Pity I didn’t grow that enormous beard like I told you I dreamed about a few days before you died – that sucker would have mopped up an ocean of tears.  and snot.  noice!  (Shaddup – you love my for my sense of humour – admit it!!)

This blog can be a glimpse into how someone you know might be feeling after the recent loss of a family member. It might offer someone else some help one day in the future. But for now, it makes you want to stretch your arms to wherever this writer is and tell her she is doing well, a great job, and there are people that care about her.

Deardarl - Letters to my husband. The original meaning of what blogging was for, an online diary.  Few photos, no advertising, no sponsored sales pitches, no memes, just true personal writing. Have a read, have the tissues handy if you are a sensitive soul like me.


  1. I'm going to have to buy some man size Kleenex and go check it out...

  2. I don't think I can even visit, I am just sad hearing about her blog. So glad this lady has found an outlet though.

    Happy FYB FRiday.

    Mich x

  3. I just stopped by to introduce myself and got two new blogs in one!
    Thanks for the recommendation.
    I will stop by ...
    Feel free to visit me at
    Ciao for now

  4. What a lovely segment on your blog. I love a good recommendation. I will save my visit for a time that I feel more composed (ie not the end of the second week of school holidays!). Happy FYBF!

  5. Oh goodness, just your description has my hormonal pregnant self getting teary. What a wonderful blog, but I do agree I wish it didn't have to be written.
    Found you through FYBF. Hi! x

  6. Thank you Claire. Thank you.

  7. I'll go check it out too ..... sounds like it would make a great book!

  8. greif is something that when it happens to you, the pain is very hard to put into words, thoughts to other people, as someone who knows about the pain, you never get better it becomes a part of your life that you learn to live with ..

  9. I hope those of you that make it over to dear darl also manage to say hello, I think any support in dark days can make a difference to that persons day.

  10. my gosh, my heart goes out to this lady just from the little piece you have shared....

    Gill x

  11. Yesterday I went to the funeral of my friend's two week old baby boy - her first child.

    Bad things do happen to good people.

    I think I need to get myself a tea & some tissues before I head over!!

  12. Sorry to hear you have had to attend the funeral of a baby. I am sure your friend will also need lots of support to cope with the loss. You might need the whole box of tissues.

  13. Thank you for bringing this blog to our attention. Will definitely stop by and visit Dear Darl.

    Condolences to Carolyn's friend and family, what a torturous thing to endure.

  14. It's bittersweet in its beauty and sadness.

  15. purplume, excellent words for this blog.

  16. Hey Clairey, visiting you today from 'The Fribro'.

    I've just spent some time at Dear Darl's blog and I agree that it is a truly special space but as I don't know her I feel like it's intrusive to read such personal outpourings. That's just me though.

    It's wonderful to see the internet being used in such a powerful healing way though.

    Felicity x

  17. Thanks for the recommendation, I will have a look when I am on my own during the week, so I can concentrate.

  18. I'm very afraid but should go and read it. My boss lost his wife last year (I didn't know her; I only started working with him about 6 months after she died) and now he is trying to cope with grief, work and being a single dad to a baby and a toddler. Just thinking of it overwhelms me and I have no idea how to handle the topic around him.

  19. Such a sad journey. Thanks for the recommendation.

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro.


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