Thursday, November 29, 2012

Don't worry about being hit by a bus.

My Mum has always been a stickler for 'decent' undies. They don't have to be expensive (though she prefers them that way) but, well, they should be in 'good nick'.

When she folded up my washing last month she decided I was lacking in appropriate cotton tails, so lacking that she purchased me more and suggested I throw the old ones out, you know, in case I was hit by a bus and caught wearing awfully daggy knickers. Apparently if you are knocked over by 20 tonne of bus, wearing inappropriate underwear would just make matters much worse.

I happily accepted my new bum huggers but decided the old ones still had some wear left too, they are simply too comfortable to hit the bin.

Two months ago I went to the doctor to have a mole on the top of my back removed, he decided that instead of removing it I should see a dermatologist to check a number of other moles also on my shoulders and back. I went today, wearing my most appropriate bra knowing I would have to take my top off.

Dr Dermatology took one swift look at my white, pale and freckle covered skin and said,"right, strip down to just your knickers and get on the table."

Bloody hell. Shite.

I was not planning on this to happen. Mums voice was singing in my head, 'never be caught in shabby knickers.' 

I wasn't meant to be taking off my shorts.

But what can you do?

Not only did I have to lie on the table pretending I was in something even half decent, I had to do this while she checked moles on the inside of my thighs, she even pulled the shabby things down to ensure I have no nasty moles on my bum to be cut out.

Oh the shame.

By the time we were finished I didn't even have the luxury of my decent bra on, just the shabby old threadbare but oh so comfy undies and a few big red spots from the ice gun that she seemed to scatter spray across my back to get rid of a few bits and bobs that are better off not there.

Take my advice dear reader, wear suncream, wear a hat, and don't worry about being hit by a bus, there are  times less physically painful when you might still be caught in your daggy reg grundies.

I must go now and throw out about 38 pairs of undies, while I do, make me feel better, tell me you have in your undie drawers some items that are too comfy to be thrown out...anyone???

Today's Disclaimer: If your name is Meg and you travelled with me in Europe - KEEP YOUR PHOTOS TO YOURSELF.


  1. Oh I live in fear of being told to strip down to my nasty apple catchers. I have heaps of them! They might look daggy, but boy are they comfy!!

  2. I've been caught out like this at the chiropractors once. I didn't learn my lesson though, still have some shameful garments in the drawer!

    1. ummm, I think I am likely to keep 'just a few' too.

  3. Hilarious!! I stick with black - looks less shabby when it's indeed shabby!! x

  4. Great advice - but what about when wearing white linen pants? I guess I could go black for all the new ones, and keep the old white ones for when required??

  5. You most certainly are not alone... I have some knickers that will never see the light of day and should really be chucked but I just can't bring myself to do it. Enjoy comfy undies I say!

    1. Yes Kate, there is the notion of life is too short to be in uncomfy undies. But then again, maybe it is too short not to be considered a fancy pants every day of your life!

  6. Haha, oh yes, I've done the undie walk (aka strip) of shame. A naive 18 year old seeing a physio for the first time and wearing the greyest (was once white) bra with stringy elastic, holes in the mesh... had no idea I'd have to strip. MORTIFICATION, I'm still blushing! As for the knickers .... I kept some on the "I'll need them for pregnancy" pretence and sadly still dig them out regularly. Just too comfy. But thanks for the heads up....santa are you listening?

  7. I still have some of the undies that I bought for giving birth/post birth, you know the ones the books all emphasise should be big and comfy and dark-coloured. I know I need to throw them out but the comfy part makes me hold onto them. But I am careful not to wear them when they may be seen!

  8. Bbaaabababahhhaaaaa I WILL NEVER EVER EVER EVER PART WITH THAT PHOTO!!!!!! I still need to change my undies every time I look at that photo, especially after one's pelvic floor is non existent these days!!!!

    I often wear the comfy faded numbers (or 'passion killers' as hubby calls them) and I'm sure half of the local townsfolk have coped an eyeful every time I put the boys in the car, set up a pram etc....gusts of wind can be unkind!!

    Thanks for the walk down memory lane.

    The keeper of some serious bribery material! xx

  9. I hope the check up went ok Claire. I can't stand them when they lose their elasticity, it really bothers me! so apart from the fancy ones mine rarely last a year before they hit the bin. I need to buy new ones and asked mum to get me some for Christmas! Yes, I'm that boring these days ;)

  10. I know I shouldn't be giggling, but I am. There is so much to laugh with this post. My last appointment with a dermotologist was equally embarrassing, and so I feel your pain! As for daggy undies, every pair needs to be thrown out. Before I embarked on Buying Nothing New, perhaps purchasing new undies beforehand might have been a good idea. They are so bad, that I'm throwing them out of necessity, and running out quickly! Thank goodness there is only one month to go. Come January 1, I'm heading to Myer Lingerie Dept.!


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