Friends that don't bring lasagna

Do you have those friends that you don't see for ages and ages and then when the moons, stars and babysitters align for you both you finally get to see each other again and it is like you just chatted yesterday.

Recently I got to have dinner with two long time friends that I hardly ever see now - on separate nights - and both times it was as though we had only just chatted days before.

These are friends I met at uni and over the last nearly 20 years* we have all been through many adventures, weddings, bridesmaid dresses, births, jobs, european adventures and kids parties.

We don't live very close to each other anymore, we don't deliver each other lasagna when one of those babies is born. We don't drop around to each other's house for coffee and cake or let our kids play at the park together.

But when we catch up, I have the greatest of times.

Maybe it is because I know they are good sorts. That I know when things are shite they will listen to Mariah Carey's 'Hero' on repeat for three days straight.**

Maybe it is because when I am in Ireland and low on cash they will also be happy to sleep in a bed that cost less than a pint of beer for the night and risk the threat of disease to save a dollar. Or attempt a drive off when you missed the curfew and didn't even sleep in the dingy establishment.

It could be that they saw me through those dodgy university days, of dating the wrong boyfriends, being dumped by same wrong boyfriends, that they waited with me in the streets while I was the last person on earth to turn 18 or tried to smuggle me in the back door of pubs. We shared lipsticks and bronzing powder and perfume. We shared houses and huddled around gas heaters to keep the bills down in winter. They dragged me out of low times and celebrated my high times.

Perhaps it's because they are glass half full people, the ones always ready to have a laugh. They could not care if I breastfed, co slept, or wore a baby sling. They care that I am well, that things are good.

It might be ages before I have dinner with them again, but I know when I do, it will be just as good as it has always been.

I have new friends that surround me but I will also always have my uni friends, our catch ups may be few, but they are also mighty fine.


Do you have friends that don't bring lasagna?






*Considering we are now 27 we were clearly very young at uni.
** It was the early 90s, it was the only choice.