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So I got my referral and headed off with Mr H to the plastic surgeon to have them removed. Mr H was there as I was still feeding Immy and she came too, and also as I tend to faint with the talk of blood and needles it is best I don't drive there and back.
The surgeon talked about what we needed to do, the risks etc and that we could do it in the chair that day. I was nodding, I was keen to just get started.
He asked me if I was feeling ok. Sure I said, let's go.
No, he said. You are way too pale. You look like a ghost. One look at you and I know your blood pressure has dropped. Your fight or flight reaction has set in and your body wants to run you out of here.
He said the operation was not a biggie, but my reaction made it unsafe to do in the rooms, instead, he would admit me to the private hospital, in a year, when I was not a nursing mother and didn't have two under three to be looking after at home.
I went home with my ugly moles.
I still have them.
They are still ugly.
They still bother me, but not so much as they did at that particular time.
I will get them removed, but the cost is higher as I have to be admitted to the hospital.
I hate how my body reacts to anything at all that is about blood, gore, needles and cuts. But I can't control the reaction. My body takes over.
Can you imagine what I looked like at work yesterday when I was outside the morgue, in the wrong part of the hospital, desperate to find my way and walking in a little circle doing breathing exercises? I don't usually work anywhere near this building. The man who found me seemed to barely notice, but quickly sent me in the right direction, and finished with, "the doors at the end, they take you straight outside, if you need them'. You can be sure that I used those doors, to ensure no trolleys came rolling past me on my way out.
How are you with such things? Piece of cake or woozy?
I am not good with people taking blood from me. My body tenses up and I panic. I also know that taking bloods and cannulas means I am more susceptible to infections. Ugh. I had a blood test on Monday and it was not too bad. I just gripped the bed very hard.
ReplyDeleteAs for morgues - never been near one but I have seen my grandmother in her coffin which was a bit eery.
Hope you are ok x
I'm fine with blood and cuts, but not so great with gore and needles. My husband needed to see a doctor after been severely bitten and scratched by a cat on his hands- I cleaned his scratches, wrapped his hands in a towel and took him to the local GP. When the GP took out a needle and thread to stitch up some of the deeper cuts, I had to leave the room as I was going to faint. Getting a needle in the dentist's chair sends my heart racing too.
ReplyDeleteha ha,
ReplyDeleteDentist yuk gets the heart rate racing, blood and cuts does not bother me ,and yes been to the morgue as in my nurse training days it was okay , lots of funny stories from the morgues from many nurses!!
You poor ol' saus! Sounds awful. I have to sort out my separation this year. Very scary prospect! I have seen a few dead people and operations 'n' other gruesome things. Doesn't bother me but the thought of recovering from another abdominal surgery rely sucks!
ReplyDeleteIf they want to cut met up, I'm usually fine until they show me the now missing chunk/pictures of the internal sewing. Let one of them take a sharp object near friends or family and I slump in a very un-cordinated faint.
ReplyDeleteI hope the hosptial visit goes well and you come out of it with the added confidence of a smoother face. :-D
I'm a fainter! Through and through. Husband needs to come with me all the time. But I can handle pain, not that woozy feeling. Weird!
ReplyDeleteTo find yourself outside the morgue is a little creepy! I know people say its just a shell...but it's still a person. dead one at that.
ReplyDeleteAnd your moles are not ugly. They add character to your face and give you something special that others don't have.
I'm a bit of a scaredy cat. Hate the dentist, but i can handle the blood thing ok. Oh and on the mole thing, you know, I have never even noticed them! xx
ReplyDeleteI am a wuss. Once I got my legs waxed and they did one strip and that was it. I was outta there x
ReplyDeleteWoozy all the way. I fainted in the recovery room when my 4 year old daughter had her tonsils out. I had to be wheeled up to the ward in the wheelchair. Received a 'roll of the eyes, typical' from my husband. I thought I would be a great nurse, until I saw the needles and the blood. Teacher it is!!
ReplyDeleteI have no issues with blood (I donate fairly regularly - so that's a good thing, hey!) I have pretty major issues with the dentist (I don't like things in my mouth that don't belong - this does mean that I actually GO to the dentist pretty regularly. False Teeth are NOT on my agenda!)
ReplyDeleteDead bodies... hrrm. I have seen one once, and I was more curious than anything else (total stranger) BUT I cannot cope with bodies in coffins at funerals. I don't know where to look and the whole idea that a PERSON that I knew... ok, I can't even type it!
I cry when I see the "still call Australia home" Qantas ad and the WorkSafe ads (you know, where the daddy might not be coming home etc?) and when the kids cuddle each other! I am a very emotional person, you'd think I was a big wuss!
ReplyDeleteBUT when fight or flight kicks in, I am incredibly tough and I can cope with all sorts of gruesome stuff, both on myself and others. No fear of needles nor blood nor pain nor death nor big spiders crawling on me, I can surprisingly keep it together when really needed and during emergencies! Clearly I don't do anything by halves ;)
I am ok with blood but anything involving weeping sores and pus I can feel the bile rise. When poeple discuss anything remotely close to poo or the above while I am eating... I feel sick thinking about it now.
ReplyDeletepus - eeewwwww, no that is not good either.
DeleteI'm fine with anything except vomit. I can deal with snot and pus but the hint of spew and I am hurling.
ReplyDeleteI'm ok with pain, needles etc but I am a total nutbar on anaesthetic. I am so grumpy and demanding and not a nice person when I come around.
I used to have issues with a nervous laugh. Horribly inappropriate. I would giggle uncontrollably when people talked about death. I got over that pretty quickly when I started working in a rest home.
Anyway... if it's any consolation, I didn't notice your moles at all. When I was reading this post I just assumed you went through with it and was surprised at the end. I always think of you as pretty and confident.
First up, I love your moles & I'll miss them when they're gone! But I do understand the need to 'amend' things about oneself that you aren't happy with, life is too short not to!
ReplyDeleteI am a self confessed sook! It doesn't matter if it's mine or someone else's, I quiver at the thought alone when it comes to needles, blood, vomit, pus etc...but my biggest eecckkk moment is wobbly teeth! And considering I am about to enter into the shedding of baby teeth with my eldest son, I am already shaking in my boots!
So with a week tummy I will sign off for now!
Hugs to you xx