Wednesday, March 23, 2011

She's sad, my Girl.

Popps hasn't been settling in.

Not just about kinder, but stuff. She worries and she just seems sad. A lot.

When I got the chance to hang at kinder last week I did. I played play doh and searched for bugs, I read the story to the class at group time and answered the question from little Holly "Where did Popps come from?"

When I left she was so sad again that the teacher asked if she wanted to write Mummy a letter.

It was a diversion to calm her down. One that worked.

But my letter is full of her fears, her desires to spend more time with me, how she misses me.

It breaks my heart.

Not so much just for now, but for her future. She is a worrier my girl and takes the weight of the world on her little shoulders.

I want her to focus on the sunshine and lollypops but sometimes all she sees are thunderstorms and spiders.

Amongst all her frills and fairie dresses, her glitter and her dancing, she cries.

It breaks me.


  1. Oh Clairey, my heart aches for you and your beautiful girl. What a special soul - she's lucky to have you as her Mum. Big hugs for you both x

  2. it's so hard having to let them be sad and just stand by and watch...
    I wish I had some magic words for you...but she always always knows that you love her to the moon and back, and I'm sure that helps :-)

  3. It breaks my heart a little to read this, as a Mum of a worrier and as a teacher. I have a strategy I use for children who find it hard to settle that may work for your Popps, it worked for my daughter and I've used it for other children, and one in my class right now.
    Perhaps if your daughter has a photo of you both together it may help her settle.
    For my daughter she chose some pretty ribbon and we attached the photo to it, it became a necklace she wore each day to childcare.
    A child in my class this year, with no English other than Mama is finding it very hard to settle, and cries a lot, we are waiting for a bi-lingual worker to be assigned, and in the mean time have given the child a photo of themselves with their Mama taken at the kinder. They carry it around in their pocket and whenever they start to cry, we take it out and point to Mama, and the child is able to settle, and begin to bit by bit explore the kinder a little more.
    I have other settling ideas, but am sure your kinder teacher is on to it, so won't continue with this essay, but key me know if you want any other ideas, I'd be happy to pass them along.

  4. Gosh that must be hard, but it sounds like you are being incredibly strong on her behalf, knowing how important this time is for her and wanting to clutch her close and protect her from those thunderstorms but gently encouraging her to make her own way. I don't know why I haven't seen your blog before, its gorgeous and I look forward to reading more. I am sad I didn't get to meet you at #AusBlogCon2011, next year?!?

  5. Awww, your Blog entry brought tears to my eyes. I haven't been through starting pre-school yet with my boy, I can imagine how heart breaking it's going to be when they don't settle or are having problems :( Hope she settles in soon and finds some sunshine & lollypops :) @buzzybel

  6. Oh Popps, little mate. This must be so difficult. x

  7. tears over here too. This is so tough to go through. For you and for her. My Batsman is anxious a lot of the time too....changes to routines, new people, things not quite happening in the way his brain thinks they should. We had meltdown city the other week on a bus at the open range zoo....because the bus entry wasnt how he thought it would be. Seeing the fear and the anxiety in his eyes breaks me open and rips into my heart because i don't always know how to fix it. Autism sucks sometimes. I have taught him deep breathing though and we use that. Gawd, I could go on and on here but two things - Naomi's idea is brilliant and she sounds like an ace kinder teacher to me. And....I feel blessed we got to meet at ABC2011. Let me know if you ever feel like a coffee xx

  8. Clairey, my heart goes out to little Popps, and to YOU. I think my girl and Popps might be birds of a feather. Doots is a worrier and so sensitive. She's still not happy for me to leave kinder, but it does seem to be getting a little easier.

    It really affects me too, because I carry a ball of anxiety around in my stomach all day, just worrying about her and just wanting her to be happy. Because that is all we want as mums, isn't it...

    Our kinder teacher showed me some lovely books by Dr Samantha Seymour called "Sometimes I feel...". The series includes worried, angry, sad and shy. We've borrowed 'worried' to look at together at home. It has great, simple photos of what 'worried' looks like and includes simple words about what 'worried' feels like, and ways to make it better.

    I really hope it gets better soon xx

  9. This is such a hard one, and actually one of the reasons why I started my blog. After working as an educator and now youth counsellor, I am faced daily with anxious children which seems to be increasing. I am currently doing lots of research into this and hope to be able to help others in some small way. I know that you are doing everything you can to help your little girl with this, and this is further proven by your honesty and your desire to seek out help and support from others. Best of luck.

  10. Oh poor thing! Both of you. How sad to have to deal with this. My big girl is an anxious one like me, but largely her transition into the world has been smoother, since we've been fortunate enough to be able to take things a little more slowly with her.

    Things might get easier for your Popps when she finds her own little corner of the world.

  11. This happened for a long time with my daughter and still occurs intermittently. Last year she wore a butterfly necklace we chose together. She would wear it and know I was thinking of her. The photo idea sounds good as well. It's wonderful I think that these days they can tell us what's wrong and we listen. You're doing amazing xxx

  12. Poor darling. Life must be tough when your little.
    Hopefully her kindy teachers are understanding and support her through it.

  13. Oh this post has me so sad and emotional, Clairey. Sigh. The little poppets, we just want them to be sunny. But sometimes they're not and sometimes they're just not wired to be the sunny type. Cappers is a little bit like that. She's not 'sad' (bless Popps) but she's not 'sunny' either. I want her to be sparkly, but I just think our girls are more thinkers than dancers, Clairey. You know what I mean? x


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