The Aching Glute

Over the last few weeks I've been writing blog posts in my head again. I haven't done this for ages, which is why you'll notice that I have not really written any blog posts.

The only thing that's happened in the last few months was the random day my back went out. A random day after I had joined an online fitness training program and thought it was a great way to get fit.

OH THE PAIN.

Invisible pain is excruciating for many reasons, but one of them is that you look quite ok. There is no blood, no stitches, no bruise, no fever. JUST ALL THE PAIN.

It's awful.

It lead me to join weird Facebook groups in the middle of the night when I was lonely and sad and not sure what I was going to do. This was good for a few weeks, but most of the people were American, and I tell you, a group like that shows you what a totally useless medical system they have. There were people living in agony for years, they were sympathetic and considerate, but they mainly told me that this was now my life. Give up work. Prepare yourself for friends to slowly accept you can't join them and one by one they too will disappear.

I couldn't accept this was going to be it for me. First I hit Dr Google, and Youtube and I started to read and listen to everything. All the snake oil salespeople, the people who have never been injured but knew what I needed, they were easy to find. It was all so shonky but I was also so ready to BUY IT ALL. Let me have it, what ever it takes to be pain free, I was ready to hand over my cash. But my credit card was a little sad looking so I waited a few days and kept reading and realised most of what I needed I already had.

My doctor said - be patient.
My osteo said - this is going to get better
My Neurosurgeon said - you can have surgery if you want, but why don't you have a think about it first.
My natural remedy friends had all the potions I could take but I listened to those who have been down this road before and I purchased all the ones I needed.

And I got a diary.

I started writing about what I was doing each day, what I might try and do the next day, the information I had found and exactly how much medication I had found. I wrote down the things I found hardest (grocery shopping/sitting on wooden chairs) and found ways to avoid them (Thank you online shopping and cushions).

They say that necessity is the mother of invention and this is never truer than for the person in chronic pain. I've sticky taped towels together and positioned cushions in the perfect way, I have finally realised why Crocs shoes were invented - they are for people with chronic pain to take showers because they absorb some of the impact that hard surfaces put on your body.

My glute muscle still feels like I've been kicked by a horse or hit by a car. It's best I don't walk for long periods of time, or stand still too long. I have to wear very very ugly shoes, even to work.

But it's getting better. It's going to get better. If you also have chronic pain the main thing you need to know right now is that it doesn't have to be forever. You're going to find a solution, it's just probably not going to be in a Facebook group at 2 am.