Friday, May 1, 2015

I grew an egg.

It's true,

On Easter Sunday morning, I woke up and the Easter Bunny had left a lump on me the size of a Cadbury Creme Egg.

Or perhaps you could call it a third boob.

Medically, it started as a 'lump on right chest wall' before it progressed to a 'possible soft tissue tumour'.

From that moment, my brain went wild. It floated to the darkest of darkest places you can imagine.

I was instantly propelled from my doctors rooms to ultrasounds, CT scans, MRI scans, thallium scans, injected with radiation and contrast dye and underwent a biopsy, all in a few days.

As I sat in one particularly unpleasant MRI scan with the contrast dye floating around me and with the straps pulled tight over the barrier holding me still I tried to get myself to write a blog post in my mind. They needed me to remain still, stiller then still and my breathing was causing too much movement. As I mentally wrote the blog post I wondered what other people think of when undergoing MRI scans. I doubt many write blog posts in their minds to try and remain calm. I thought I 'd to write a post that would suggest people take in an eye mask. It's squashy in there, but if you can't open your eyes, you can pretend you are on a plane, floating above the earth flying anywhere you wanted. You can't even take the eye mask off if you want to because your arms are strapped down under the shield across your body.

Thallium Scanner contraption, this one is not scary at all.

Without the eye mask you can not trust yourself to not open your eyes. Even if you don't feel claustrophobic, once you open your eyes you are back in a medical procedure and your mind is at risk of floating to all those places that you don't want to visit. A mind in a dark place can be hard to get back to the light.

At one stage when the narrow bed was brought out of the tunnel, the nurse asked, 'Are you ok?" I replied with the only answer possible. "No, but I have to be, shove me back in the tunnel and let's get this over with."

Because you have no choice when your body grows eggs and lumps and third boobs.

After about 20 minutes I couldn't think of anything else to write in the blog post in my mind, so I decided to sing myself a little song, only I couldn't think of anything to sing, so I ended up with a chant, "Better then dead, better then dead..." Mr H suggested that next time I try something more upbeat, like "Stayin' Alive!"

After 30 minutes, it was over, not really all that bad after all, I just needed to get my mind focussed on the task and keep reminding myself that this is not going to last for long. If you need a chant for your head, I suggest using...'It's nearly over, it's nearly over.' because it really will be.



You get to wear special jarmies in your MRI. 


Behind the scenes, outside of the medical rooms was my cheer squad, sending me text messages and funny images and links to make me laugh. At home there were cards and flowers and food and picking up my kids and keeping me company. There were people who did little things that made big differences.

Today I went to see my specialist who gave me buckets of good news. He confirmed that the egg is benign. Lumpy is not Cancer. But, the third boob has got to go.

I need to head back to the hospital and have some surgery across my chest. My bikini days might be officially over for good (just in case I didn't think they already were) and I am going to be going through a couple of weeks of discomfort, but really, that's ok, it's gonna be ok.









23 comments:

  1. I am really glad that it's gonna be okay and OMG do we go to those darkest of dark places in those moments. I sing Twinkle twinkle little star on repeat :-)

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    1. That sounds like a much calmer and relaxing approach then my first chants.

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  2. Glad that it is good news for you! I have had 2 MRIs on my spine (disc problems due to accident so not scary) and have managed the process very differently each time 1. Decided we needed a new couch (current couch was baby poo verlour) and spent the rest of the MRI thinking about all the specifics I wanted in the couch. Made shopping later that month easy!
    2) had a small baby that was not sleeping much day or night... i swear i fell asleep in the MRI as it passed very quickly and I felt rested afterwards.

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    1. oh Jane, I know that MRI too, I had one when Immy was 6 months old on my spine too and yep, totally fell asleep. It's a much more pleasant experience then the lumpy tumour on chest MRI that is for sure.

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  3. Oh phew!!!

    You know they played a DVD for my girls for most of their MRIs at RCH... they should do that for adults too! Or at least music or a podcast!

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  4. am had DVD at 5yrs at CHW and at the local place a CD , last year during his MRIs
    I am so glad you got the all clear. Xox

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  5. sending you ALL the love. MRI's suck all the balls.

    So very glad you are going to be ok. x

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  6. So glad it all turned out ok

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  7. What a very scary experience. Glad you are going to be OK and you can find the humour amongst the fear.

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  8. Glad to hear it is benign and I love your cheer squad. All the best for the surgery ahead.

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  9. Huge relief Claire, glad all is ok. Definitely a good reason to celebrate the big 4-0 in style! x

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  10. Wow, Scary! So pleased your OK.
    Those tunnels can be a bitch (the metaphorical and the actual)
    Leanne @ Deep Fried Fruit .

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  11. Oh gosh Claire! So sorry you had to go through all that but so glad the outcome was a good one. Take care x

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  12. Glad everything is ok. I just got the results of a 3rd u/s on a lump and all good and I'm on antibiotics. Good on you for getting to it straight away because mums often put it off. Hope it's an easy removal and that you'll be all better xx

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  13. Yay! That' great news. But I bet the past few weeks have been mind torture. So pleased it's all worked out well.

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  14. SO glad you are going to be ok. What a scare! You handled it all so beautifully xx

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  15. I'm thrilled that it's not more sinister than that Claire. I've spent more than my fair share of time in an MRI tube - for the long ones they let me take my own CD (which to be honest, you can barely hear over all the clunking!)
    Looking forward to reading that you've had the op and are on the mend. xx

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  16. Thank goodness. What a scary time. All the very best for the coming weeks. x

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  17. So scary - and so great that all is good. x

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  18. Awh God, how scary, but glad all is ok.

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  19. Oh my I am so glad that everything is ok not fun at all to have the test or the scare but fantastic news that the lump isn't serious. Take care.

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  20. OMG I am soooooo relieved for you hun. What an awful thing to go through. xx

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